• Lynne Macaluso

The Top 3 Reasons People Don't Seek Help (and why they should)

Updated: Jul 31, 2019

Read more Millions of people engage in chronic, excessive behaviors in order to deal with loneliness, stress, and boredom. Many do not meet the criteria for an eating disorder or addiction; however, this does not minimize the severity of the situation. We all know that one bad decision can ruin your life or the lives of others. That would be tragic. But what about the fact that many people waste years of their life on autopilot; mindlessly stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behavior that does not serve them. Here are the 3 main reasons people do not seek help.

1. Denial

Denial is the main reason people avoid getting help. It is human nature to blame outside factors when things don't go well. It is part of our subconscious survival instinct. We will go to great lengths to protect our ego. People believe that they turn to alcohol, food, or other vices to cope with hardship and fail to see the connection between this behavior and their problems. Often they do not realize that substance use creates a barrier to success in their career or relationships. People generally see it the opposite way. They view substance use as a way to relieve pain, not as the cause.

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2. Shame

Many people who struggle with substance use or other chronic behaviors find it difficult to reach out for help because of stigma. Society has created this all or nothing mentality when it comes to consumption. If a person turns to food in order to cope with stress, they automatically have an eating disorder. If they turn to alcohol, they must have a substance use disorder. I am not disputing the fact that we have a serious substance use problem in this country. Unless you have been living off the grid, you know that we are currently facing an epidemic of addiction. What I am saying is that not everyone who overindulges has an addiction. I believe there are countless individuals who suffer in silence because they are terrified of being labeled. Perhaps they have tried to change and found they cannot do it alone and now they are afraid of failure. They desperately want help but have no intention of "alerting the media" to declare that they have a disease or disorder. In many cases, I believe that people have the ability to experience meaningful change. With the right support, tools, and education, people can learn to manage their emotions and behavior in a more positive and productive way.

3. Fear

The fear of change is real. We cannot underestimate the power of what is familiar. Regardless of whether or not it provides us with what we want, human beings are hard-wired to stay in our comfort zone. The commitment to change requires courage and determination. It usually means dealing with emotions and memories that have been buried for years. The thought of facing all of this without the comfort of our vices can be overwhelming. In order to do this safely and effectively, it is critical to have a plan. At OneLife Personal Coaching, we provide a safe and supportive environment for gradual change to take place. We will make certain that each individual gets the appropriate support and/or referrals needed to address their issues and concerns. 


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Life Coaching is based on a cooperative partnership between the client and the facilitator to create positive change.  Lynne Macaluso at OneLife Personal Coaching is a Certified Coach and Licensed Addiction Counselor. Life Coaching services are not intended to take the place of professional counseling or primary treatment for mental health, addiction, or medical care. Coaching should not be used as a substitute for diagnosis or treatment of any condition. Lynne does not work with any individual with a diagnosed mental/physical condition without consent from a licensed practitioner. If you are under the care of a medical professional for any condition for which you are seeking additional coaching, please obtain a signed written referral from your provider.

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